8 Myths about romance writing

Lets debunk 8 Myths About Romance Writing that I've been seeing everywhere...

Lately, I’ve noticed a trend where some bookish influencers claim that TikTok, well specifically booktok, is somehow “destroying” the reading experience - though, if you look closer, their criticism is usually aimed at romance novels. Honestly, it feels to me that it's another thing that those that are fans, particularly women, of a genre are being ignored and diminished. And really, what’s the point of mocking people who are not only reading but celebrating books and building communities around them?  

Romance is one of the most popular and profitable genres in publishing, yet it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Ask a random person what they think of romance novels, and you’ll often hear dismissive comments: “It’s just fluff,” or “Those books are all the same.” 

But those assumptions are rooted in stereotypes, not reality. Romance writers are among the hardest-working, most innovative authors in the industry. Their books not only entertain millions but also offer nuanced explorations of love, relationships, identity, and human connection. 

Let’s bust some of the most common myths about romance writing: 

Myth 1: Romance writing is easy 

Many people believe that romance novels practically write themselves - just sprinkle in some kissing scenes, add a conflict, and tie it up with a happily-ever-after. The truth? Writing romance requires skill, emotional intelligence, and a deep understanding of storytelling craft. Readers must feel the chemistry, tension, vulnerability, and payoff.  

Therefore, romance writers must balance pacing, character development, tension, emotional payoff, and satisfying resolution. Crafting believable chemistry between characters, chemistry that keeps readers invested, is much harder than it looks. If it were truly easy, everyone would be doing it successfully. 

In some genres, the plot can carry the weight of the story, but in romance, the heart of the book depends on whether the emotional connection feels real. If the characters come across as flat or the relationship develops too quickly or not at all, readers are likely to lose interest. 

Myth 2: There’s an exact formula for every romance trope, that each author follows exactly 

Yes, romance often relies on beloved tropes like enemies-to-lovers, fake dating, or second-chance romance. But there’s no rigid formula that guarantees success. The magic lies in how writers reinvent tropes, not just follow them. 

When you actually think about it, even with specific romance tropes there are so many different romance areas in which an author could write in:  

• Historical (Regency, Victorian, medieval, etc.) 

• Fantasy or sci-fi romance 

• Contemporary (small-town, urban, workplace, billionaire, etc.) 

• LGBTQ+ romance 

• Paranormal (vampires, shapeshifters, fae, witches) 

• Romantic suspense 

• Inspirational or faith-based romance 

Readers may come for a familiar setup, but they stay for the uniqueness of the characters, the voice, and the emotional journey. A skilled writer can take the same trope you’ve seen a hundred times and make it feel fresh and surprising. 

Myth 3: Romance isn’t as sophisticated as other literature 

This is one of the most persistent (and frankly, elitist) misconceptions. Dismissing romance as “lesser” overlooks the craft it takes to write emotionally resonant, engaging stories. 

Romance often tackles complex themes: grief, trauma, identity, cultural expectations, friendship, and family dynamics. At its core, it asks one of literature’s most profound questions: What does it mean to love, and be loved, fully and authentically? 

That’s not fluff: that’s humanity. 

Myth 4: All romance has to be really spicy 

While “spice” (sexual content) is an important element in some romances, it’s not a requirement. (Look, if you're a fan of me and have read my books, you’ll know what my view is on spice hee-hee). Saying that, romance spans a wide spectrum, from sweet, closed-door love stories to sizzling, high-heat narratives. 

The heart of romance isn’t the level of spice; it’s the emotional journey and the promise of love. Readers seek different levels of intimacy, and the genre accommodates them all. 

What matters most in romance isn’t the level of spice, but how well expectations are set and honoured. If a story is presented as sweet or closed-door, readers shouldn’t be blindsided by graphic scenes. On the other hand, if the book is promoted as steamy, it should deliver the heat and passion that readers are looking for. 

Myth 5: Romance doesn’t make enough money to support a career 

This one is both outdated and misleading. Romance is one of the top-selling genres in publishing, generating billions of dollars annually. Many romance authors, traditionally published and self-published alike, make a sustainable living from their work. 

Of course, as with any creative field, financial success isn’t guaranteed. It can take years and an immense amount of trial and error for the  author, but dismissing romance as “unprofitable” is simply untrue. In fact, the romance community has been at the forefront of indie publishing success stories. 

Myth 6: A romance story is just about the relationship between the main characters   

At first glance, it may seem like romance is solely focused on two people falling in love, and its true, good main characters will carry the readers through many a twist of your novel. But anyone who’s read widely in the genre knows that romance novels often explore much more. 

Friendships, families, communities, careers, and personal growth are all woven into the narrative. Trauma and loss, determination and triumph, there are countless storylines plotted throughout a book that make it so much more than just an amorous narrative. The romance may be the central thread, but it rarely exists in isolation. These stories often reflect the rich, interconnected lives we all lead. 

Myth 7: Romance is only for women (or written by women) 

The belief that romance is only for women is not just outdated; it is also rooted in narrow and sexist ideas about who is “allowed” to enjoy stories about love. Women may make up the largest share of the readership, but the genre has never been exclusive to them. Men write romance. Non-binary authors write romance. Readers of every gender turn to these books for joy, comfort, and inspiration.  

What gives romance its lasting power is not the identity of the writer or the reader. It is the universal themes that run through every story: longing, connection, vulnerability, and the desire to be truly known by another person. These are not experiences that belong to a single gender. They are part of being human. When people insist that romance is “just for women,” they erase the range of voices that shape the genre and overlook how richly it reflects the diversity of human experience. 

Myth 8: Romance novels all sound the same 

If you’ve only dipped your toes into a handful of romance books, you might think they’re all alike. But the reality is the genre is incredibly diverse. 

From historical epics to futuristic sci-fi romances, from cozy small-town settings to gritty urban love stories, romance stretches across every imaginable backdrop. The writing styles also vary dramatically, some are lush and lyrical, others are sharp and witty. 

The unifying thread isn’t sameness; it’s the emotional journey toward love and fulfilment. Everything else is as varied as the authors behind the stories. 

Final Thoughts 

Romance isn’t “just” a genre, it’s a vast, evolving literary landscape that connects with millions of readers across the globe. It’s easy to dismiss what you don’t understand, but if you dig deeper, you’ll find that romance writing is anything but simple or predictable. 

The next time you hear someone say, “Romance novels are all the same” or “That’s not real literature,” you’ll know better. Romance is a genre that deserves respect, not ridicule. And if you’re an aspiring romance writer? Take heart; you’re stepping into one of the most dynamic, rewarding communities in publishing. 

I hope thats cleared up lots of myths about romance writing for you, and if you need to your next romance read - The Techboys Series is waiting to pull you in. The Escape has readers texting me in all caps, just saying.

Love, Eve x